PsychoGyaan

  दोन संपूर्णपणे वेगळ्या व्यक्तींनी एकत्र राहणं म्हणजे काही प्रमाणात adjustment करणं , तडजोड करणं , आत्तापर्यंत आपण जसे जगत आलेले असतो त्यात रोज होणारा बदल पाहणं. माझ्या गोष्टी , वस्तू , पैसा आणि सगळ्यात महत्त्वाचं म्हणजे "माझी space" (me time) कालपर्यंत ज्या फक्त माझ्या होत्या त्या आता कुणाबरोबर तरी रोज-रोज वाटल्या जाणार असतात.   सोबत राहायला लागल्यावर सगळ्यात अवघड होतं ते आपली space share करणं. आपण जेव्हा आपला partner निवडतो , त्याला/ तिला स्वीकारायला तयार असतो तेव्हा मी माझी म्हणून जी space आत्ता पर्यंत घेत होतो/ होते त्याबद्दल किंवा माझ्या partner ला हव्या असणाऱ्या space बद्दल काय विचार करतो/ करते ?   अनेकदा एकमेकांना space देणं कठीण होतं. कारण लग्न झालं म्हणजे एकमेकांच्या सुख-दुःखांची जबाबदारी घेणं compulsory असल्याची भावना त्यामागे असते. पण यात समोरची व्यक्ती माझा partner असला/ असली तरी एक स्वतंत्र व्यक्ती आहे ही बाजू पूर्णपणे दुर्लक्षित केली जाते. माणूस कितीही नात्यांमध्ये गुंतला तरी त्याला , त्याचे स्वतःशी असणारे , स्वतंत्र नाते जपायला मिळणे ही त्याची मुख्य गरज का...

लग्न हा विषय आला की त्याबरोबर आपोआपच compromise हा शब्द वापरला जाताना दिसतोच. जणू काही compromise हा लग्नाला समानार्थी शब्दच आहे. खरंतर समानार्थी नसला तरी लग्नाबरोबर जुळलेला शब्द असल्याचे आपल्याला नाकारताही येणार नाही. एखादे जोडपे जर म्हणाले की , आम्ही कधीच compromise करत नाही , तर विश्वास बसणे अवघड आहे. पण मग compromise करून नातं टिकविण्याचा जर प्रयत्न होत असेल तर नक्कीच इथे एकमेकांबरोबर संवाद साधण्याची नितांत गरज आहे हे ताबडतोब लक्षात घ्यायला हवे. Compromise करून नाते जगण्यापेक्षा "संवाद न साधता" निभावले जाणारे नाते जास्त suffer होताना दिसते. जर आपण आपल्या जोडीदाराशी संवाद साधू शकलो तर हे नाते understanding कडे जास्त जाताना दिसेल. आपल्या जोडीदाराच्या आवडणाऱ्या गोष्टीबद्दल त्याचे कौतुक करणे , न आवडणाऱ्या गोष्टी मोकळेपणाने त्याच्यापर्यंत पोचवणे , एकमेकांकडून असलेल्या अपेक्षा , स्वप्न एकमेकांना सांगत राहणे. सगळ्यात महत्वाचे म्हणजे एकमेकांमध्ये होत जाणारे बदल (मानसिक , भावनिक , शारीरिक , आर्थिक आणि इतर) याबद्दल "संवादातून स्वीकार निर्माण करत राहणे" ही या नात्याची खरी ...

In two stages, children become aware of their individuality. At the beginning of their third or fourth year, when they take their first steps away from their parents (especially their mothers), grandparents, or other caregivers. When they start kindergarten and play with other kids their age. They start to see people, like their teachers and friends, other than the people they have lived with so far. This is where they start to learn how to live with other people. But they still have to depend on their parents or other caregivers for everything. This is the first time they have expressed a desire to go outside. The second stage is adolescence, when their image (self-image) is formed in different ways, such as in their finances, social lives, sexual lives, mental lives, and intellectual lives. They try to find out how they will become significant in this world and whether they can survive without their parents. From this point on, the desire to leave home and see the outside world beg...

To prepare for an 18-year project without complaining. This new member of our family is entirely reliant on us. To nourish it until it can stand on its own. We give him everything he needs as his parents, and he gives us joy and love by putting his full trust in us. For the time being, this bond between parents and children is absolutely unconditional. However, when the child grows older, these equations change. Before we can understand such changes, we must first understand how well we know ourselves as parents. In parenting, we must understand ourselves as individuals, as fathers and mothers, and as a couple. When we express any unpleasant emotion, such as anger at our children, we must first understand why we are angry. Is it because of how my child acts, or am I reacting badly to something else and blaming it on my child, who is just being naughty? When it comes to their children, couples frequently differ in a few areas such as studying, going out with friends, spending money,...

We have always heard that children come of age, but why am I saying parents come of age? In fact, when our children come of age, changes in their behavior, speech, and appearance all happen to them. They come of age, not a parent...! If so, why is the time when children come of age stressful for parents too? Why did our child, who seemed to be a child until yesterday, suddenly have to change so much before he knew anything? Who doesn't listen to anything anymore, doesn't come with us anywhere, is constantly enjoying themselves or with friends and mobile phones...? Doesn't all this upset parents?? That is why this is the time for parents to get along with children as their friends. How can we convey to them the struggle we are having to understand the children and the care we feel for them? Why is it a contradiction that we struggle to make friends with our children on the one hand and our children's enemies on the other? This gap is experienced by all parents and chil...

Do I mean, I'm positive because I don't think negatively? It is everyone's need and desire to live positively, but is it enough to just stay positive and keep the atmosphere around you positive? As a human being, am I not going to be both positive and negative? An important question is how we take and understand both these things. Basically, do I have my own strong opinions and thoughts about being positive or do I insist on being happy all the time because I don't like suffering? Do I want everyone to pay attention to me when I go see people? Do I think people would like me only if I stayed positive? Do I have to try to stay positive to hide other shortcomings in me? Even if I am constantly positive, can I respect, accept, and understand the negative side of others' negative emotions? All this should be considered. There are a few points to keep in mind to stay truly positive. Even if I was positive, was it that no one valued my opinions?  If that happens, it shoul...

What exactly happens when mental health deteriorates? It should be noted that our mental health is deteriorating when the harmony between thoughts, emotions and behaviours begins to imbalanced. Even if emotions are adequately recognized, it is often confusing when it comes to expressing them in action. Because just acting with emotion can become artificial. In order to express your feelings easily, it is more important to change the thoughts that have the energy to create them. We are constantly talking in our minds all day long. It is through our constant chatter in the mind that our feelings are created. That is why we would notice that our emotions have changed when our thoughts change. It is through our thoughts that we develop a view of every situation.  Positivity is not about just being happy, but thinking positive thoughts which automatically creates happiness or joy. If I am happy and have any negative thoughts in my mind, my happiness will be superficial and short-liv...

भावनांकडे पाहण्याचा आपला दृष्टिकोन कायमच तोलून मापून राहिला आहे. त्यातूनही काही भावना पुरुषांसाठी तर काही भावना स्त्रियांसाठी असा भेद होतो आपल्याकडून. कदाचित म्हणूनच आपण एकमेकांकडे माणूस म्हणून पाहायला काहीवेळा कमी पडतो का ?   मला काहीतरी feel होतंय , पण नक्की काय हेच सांगता येत नाही. कारण मुळातच भावनांना अनेक नावे आहेत , त्यांच्या अनेक shades आहेत हे आपण कधी ऐकलेलंच नसतं. आपल्याला , आपल्या भावनांना नावं देता येत नाही म्हणून त्या मांडणं आणि इतरांपर्यंत योग्य शब्दात पोचवणं अवघड जातं.  म्हणूनच फळांची , फुलांची ओळख करून देतो तशी आपल्या मुलांना लहानपणापासूनच भावनांची देखील ओळख करून द्यायला हवी. भावनिकदृष्ट्या मुलांना सक्षम करणं ही आता काळाची गरज होऊ लागली आहे. बदलत्या काळातील तणावांना सामोरे जाताना त्यांना , त्यांचा Emotional Quotient म्हणजेच EQ देखिल strong करायला शिकवायला हवे.   शारीरिक स्वस्थाबरोबर त्यांच्या मानसिक स्वास्थ्याची देखील योग्य वयात , योग्य पद्धतीने देखभाल कशी घेत येईल , मनातील भावना व्यक्त करण्यासाठी मुलांना प्रोत्साहन देणे आणि त्यासाठी घरात योग्य ते वातावरण न...

Every human being has the power to treat himself, to feel good. That strength can be created by a person themselves in the first phase of the adversity; in the second phase, counselor can guide to awaken that strength; and in the third phase, the journey has to be reversed with the help of a psychiatrist (medicines). So, would it not be better to pay attention to mental and emotional health in the first phase? What do you mean by paying attention by yourself? So first of all, be attentive  when  you notice something different is happening to you, when you face an adverse situation, as compared to usual. Like, are you taking longer than usual to get out of a particular situation, are you reacting differently, are you feeling inappropriate emotions? Try to recognize and understand the emotions felt by you at that time. When emotional health deteriorates, we certainly feel negative emotions. That is anger, jealousy, guilt etc. We begin to get more disturbed with the thought o...

आपल्यावर लादली गेलेली  situation  आणि आपण निवडलेली  situation  यावरून आपल्याला त्या  situation  बद्दल कसे वाटायला हवे हे आपण (कळत-नकळत) ठरवत असतो.   सगळीकडे  lockdown  आहे ,  सगळं बंद आहे आणि मला जबरदस्ती घरात बसावं लागतंय आणि सगळीकडे  lockdown  आहे ,  सगळं बंद आहे पण जबाबदार नागरिक म्हणून मी घरी राहणं पसंत करीन.. यातली कुठली  situation  आपल्याला  bearable  वाटते ?   एक  situation  जी लादली गेली आहे ज्यात आपण इतरांना दोषी ठरवतो आणि दोष देतो. सरकार , system,  परिस्थिती याबद्दल आपण अधिक त्रागा आणि वैताग व्यक्त करत राहतो. आणि दुसरी  situation,  ज्यात आपण जबाबदरी घेतो आणि स्वतः घरात राहणं  choose  करतो. ज्यामुळे माझ्या हातात आता काय करण्यासारखे आहे असा विचार करायला प्रवृत्त होतो आणि अधिक प्रमाणात शांत आणि  positive  राहू शकतो.   थोडक्यात ,  माझ्यावर वेळ आली आहे आणि त्याला काहीही कारणं असू शकतात ;  पण आत्ता या घडीला मी याकडे कसे पाहायचे आणि यात...

We often blame others or situations for the good and bad things that happen in our lives. That doesn't solve problems, but we definitely get into the habit of blame. And unresolved questions make the situation worse. But if we take responsibility for everything that happens to us, our focus will be on ourselves and the problem that lies ahead of us. And instead of blaming, we apply our effort to solve the problem. Whether it is failing the exam or fail to the interview. If I take the responsibility of failing, will it not be easy for me to find my reasons for failing and work on them and pass the next exam? Taking responsibility makes it easier to introspect within onself. And it is easily possible for us to solve our problems. If we can find out where and how we are responsible for the incident, we can take our thoughts in that direction, in terms of solving problems, and when our thoughts change, the emotion swells and we begin to express our actions properly. At the same time, w...